LancerEvo
2016-10-18 15:33:11 +08:00
"IT ’ S FUNNY, isn ’ t it, how people argue about which mobile phone is best. Honestly and truthfully, to the vast majority of people, they are indistinguishable. It ’ s the same with wine. Of course there is a handful of enthusiasts who in a blind tasting really can tell white from red, but to the rest of us a £4.99 bottle of Château d ’ Asda tastes the same, and has the same effect, as a £45,000 bottle of Pétrus.
In fact this is true of absolutely everything. Cheese. Pizzas. Caribbean islands. I spoke with a famous rock god the other day, who agreed that the whole debate about guitars is nonsense because they ’ re all identical.
And so are cities, really. Brummies will argue that Birmingham is better than Manchester or Liverpool or Sheffield. But to the casual observer they ’ re as different as milk bottles.
Then there ’ s music. To those who were born under the influence of Stanley Baldwin, the Rolling Stones sound exactly the same as N-Dubz. It ’ s all just boom, boom, boom, as the elderly are fond of saying. And I know what they mean because I simply cannot tell one piece of classical music from another. Unless it ’ s been used in an advert on the television, it ’ s all just one endless parade of girls sitting with their legs wide apart, sawing a cello in half with a bit of horse, and men blowing in tubes.
Yes, there are people who can tell not just Bach from Chopin, but also what orchestra they ’ re listening to and even what conductor is in charge. But for people with jobs and friends? No. It ’ s all just bars and tone.
You know where this is going and, of course, you ’ re right. Cars are all the same too. They ’ re all Volkswagen Golfs. There are fast Golfs and big Golfs and cheap Golfs. There are Japanese Golfs and V12 Golfs and American Golfs. But they ’ re all Golfs.
I can tell the difference between a Ford Focus and a Vauxhall Astra, but that ’ s because I ’ m a nerd. However, I ’ m not such a nerd that I don ’ t realise both are actually Golfs. You could put my mother in a Lincoln Town Car and she would be incapable of telling it apart from her own car. Which is a Golf. She thinks my Range Rover is a Golf, too, albeit one that is idiotically hard to park."